if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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