how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
