This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just blew my weed a kiss
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Randomize