this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Randomize