what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
