tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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