I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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