I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
