Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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