i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
