Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
