Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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