I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Randomize
