She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
