guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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