Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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