And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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