i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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