That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
