I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
