Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
