oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
