she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
