if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
