we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
