R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize