omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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