1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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