I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
