we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I want a musical about memes.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
