just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
