We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
