3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
