afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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