I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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