i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
be right there i have to get my cape
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
