so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
