think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
