i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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