the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
