I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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