I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
