worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
