Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
