i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
