and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
