Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
