you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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