Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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