Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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