I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
