Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Who died my cat blue again?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
