brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize