I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize