If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
