please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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