Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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