Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
