My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
