i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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