he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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