I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
