it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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