It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
