I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
