a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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