that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my being single is dangerous.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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