I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
