I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
