we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
