he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
