I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
